Marriage as Unification

Shalom All,

In a sermon that I wrote some time ago, I looked at the issue of rabbis who do not perform interfaith marriages, but who instead insist on conversion of the partner who is not Jewish. I noted that the idea that bringing "Jews" into Judaism who are Jewish in name only, but may even be hostile to Judaism because of the pressure to convert, does not ultimately benefit Judaism. Quoting Rabbi Abba Hillel Silver:

There is much which all religions have in common and much which differentiates them. Their common purpose in the world will not be advanced by merger or amalgamation. Were all arts, philosophies, and religions cast into one mold, mankind would be the poorer for it.

Rabbi Silver was not talking about unification or marriage, but about homogenization, the mixing of differences until differences are impossible to discern and the ingredients are no longer identifiable. Marriage between Jews and those of other religions should not result in some homogenization of Judaism with Christianity or Hinduism or Buddhism, but should result in a household that is led by a Jew and a believer in something other than Judaism.

I hope that that household becomes a household that will raise Jewish children that honor and respect the religious beliefs of both of their parents, but do not believe themselves to be BOTH AND. Children may be taught the traditions of both religions, but they cannot be told that THEY ARE BOTH RELIGIONS. One cannot both be something and not be the same thing at the same time. One cannot be a monotheist and a polytheist. One cannot believe that Jesus was the messiah of the Jews, while awaiting his return, and be a Jew who does not believe that Jesus was the messiah, who expects a messianic age, not a personal messiah, and who believes that there was no "original sin" for which Jesus had to die to atone, not to mention that God doesn't have any children to begin with, unless you are talking about all of humanity.

To become one, to marry or to unify in whatever form that may take, is a matter of using the characteristics of individuals to create a partnership that is stronger than either individual was alone. One can be a proudly identifying Jew while having a respect for and understanding of Christianity. One can certainly love Judaism and a Christian spouse or parent. Unification does not mean abandonment of difference, but may in fact be a way to enable it to survive as couples support each other's spiritual journeys, often enabling journeys that they might be reluctant to take on their own.

Is it easier to be of one faith? Of course it is. It avoids conflicts. Yet, conflicts are often the times when we learn and work to improve ourselves. When others challenge our beliefs, we learn to defend them. When we do not question, we do not learn answers.

Just a few thoughts,

-David